2011-10-28

October 28th, 2011.

Nerdy little me finished an english project early today so my teacher hands me a book and says I'll like it. I observe it's small size, and size 14 font. As I read, it is summarizing english grammar into a commical book and there was one quote that struck me as different.

"Simply use a conjunction, or as the kissingerians call it 'envoy linkage', with a comma."

That just struck me as different and felt like sharing.

My Dream On Commas

Monday my English class was talking about the eight comma rules and our teacher announced a quiz was going to be presented the following day (Tuesday). Monday night I had a dream and it went a little something like this...

I woke up to the sound of rain pouring down outside. I crawled out of bed and headed toward the somewhat clean kitchen. As I was drinking a nice, tall glass of Arnold Palmer, the front window, the size of a wall, shattered and water rushed in like Target shoppers the day "The Sampler" comes out. I was washed off my feet and fell into the pool.

I managed to get up, but I wasn't in my kitchen. I was standing on top of a giant podium. The scenery all around me was white. I glanced up and saw a giant fish, who was colored black & white. He started talking in a foreign language. He sounded mad so I assumed it was German or Russian. Then the ground under feet tore like rice paper.

It felt like I was free falling. As time went on though, I decelerated my falling speed and by the time I reached the bottom I nearly had stopped before I reached the ground. Once I reached the ground I took notice of my surroundings.

I was surrounded by little houses, as tall as me, and I was looking at a lot of tiny people who couldn't of been more than three feet tall. Everything was as if I was watching in an old tv, because everything was in black & white. They were all cheering and clapping.

"You killed the demon!" yelled a midget. "The freedoms of punctuation are free across the land! Except for commas... Those are still under the control of the wicked witch of the weast. Oh my!" The midget then pointed behind me.

Two women were standing facing each other twenty feet apart holding two wands and having a beam of magic fight like in Harry Potter. One woman was dressed in all black, and the other wore a bright red dress.

"You boy," started the woman dressed in all black "killed my sister, now I shall take something more than commas! I shall take semi colons and periods!"

"Anything but the semi colons!" Yelled a different midget.

Then the woman vanished, leaving the woman in the red dressing loosing balance and falling to the grand. In a world of black & white, I wondered how her dress got so red, it was almost like magic. I walked over to help the woman up. She embraced me and whispered "This is not the first or last time we meet" Then she stepped back.

"Citizens of Tinyton," announced the woman. She was rather tall, and wore a dark red lipstick and red shoes. "I am still her, so we keep our powers of spelling and sentence structure, but with my sister still living, punctuation is nearly impossible. That is why the great fish in the sky sent us this young man to save us."

That instant, I looked down and saw my sweat pants and Mr. T t-shirt change into a green tunic. My socks and brown knee boots appeared on my feet. A shield and sword appeared on my back.

"You dropped your hat." Chirped a midget. Surely on the ground was a green, cone hat. I placed it on my head and felt that my ears were pointed. In a world of black & white, I was in color.

"Follow the road of quotations and not the road of grocery lists." Said the woman. "If your hour of death presents itself, all you have to do is to throw and break this bottle against anything." She handed me a bottle filled with a glowing green liquid. I put it in my bag which I had obtained in the transformation.

I looked like some kokiri child. I began walking down a road of quotations. The road literally composed of quotes from famous people like "I have a dream" "Applaud now my friends, for the comedy is over" "It doesn't matter" "Why do today, what you can put off to tomorrow?" "Are you tired of boring old house hold cleaners?" and the list went on.

I fought goblins, plants, and bats as I walked through a black & white forest. All I gained was about 15 rupees, but I did find a piece of heart.

Then as I was walking through the forest my darn alarm went off and I had to wake up for school. So the sentences following are me continuing my dream, they may not be quite the same due to the fact I'm conscious.

After awhile I reached a crucifix with a person hanging on it. Blood, or tears, I couldn't tell without color, flowed from his eyes. He was clothed in what appeared a white robe. Then he fell from the crucifix. He started moving and tried standing up but just fell on his butt. I started to approach him to help but then an arrow landing in the shoulder of the man. Three more followed and nailed his left leg, sternum, and stomach.

"Hands on the ground!" Yelled an Irish voice from behind.

I did as he told. He walked around and appeared in front of me. This man appeared in color. He wore a green tunic identical to mine but he had long blonde hair and brown leather gloves. He held an bow and had a quiver on his back (which was chalked full).

"Tell me, what brings you to these parts?" Said the man.

"I am following the road of quotations to reach the wicked witch of the weast. To slay her and free punctuation across the land." I replied with confidence. I stood up and drew my sword. "I'll do whatever it takes to reach my goal."

"Punctuation eh? Tell me, do you know the eight comma rules?" Asked the man.

"Easy," I replied "Using a comma in a series, using a comma to express contrast, using a comma with official dates or places, using a comma in introductory phrases, using a comma to separate two independent clauses with a conjunction, Using a comma to express parenthetical expressions, using a comma to coordinate adjectives, and using a comma in quotations."

"You may pass, for I am the gate keeper, and this man," He kicked the dead man "Meant harm for my people AND was uneducated of the rules. I wish there were more people like you. If you don't mind, I would like to join you in your quest."



I just posted this story on the 19th of October, 2011. It will be continued later this week. I just wanted to type this up quick in half a hour. To be continued...

Famous Last Words of Famous People

Everybody lives life, then dies. People who make a change, or become famous are sometimes looked up to by their last words. Some words are full of knowledge and wisdom and others have nothing to do with anything

I took what I thought were some cool "Last Words" and I compiled them. At the bottom of this post is a link to a site that shows you all of the presidents last words.

Enjoy!

Jefferson, Thomas (1743-1826) "Is it the Fourth?" (4 July 1826)

Gandhi, Indira (1917-1984) "I don't mind if my life goes in the service of the nation. If I die today every drop of my blood will invigorate the nation." (Said the night before she was assassinated by Sikh militants.)

Malcolm X (1925-1965) "Cool it, brothers..." (His last words before being assassinated.)

Presley, Elvis (1935-1977) "I hope I haven't bored you." (Concluding what would be his last press conference.)

Roosevelt, Franklin Delano (1882-1945) "I have a terrific headache."

Roosevelt, Theodore (1858-1919) "Put out the light."

Villa, Francisco `Pancho' (1878-1923) "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

Washington, George (1732-1799) "It is well, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go."

Millard Fillmore
[Accepting a spoonful of soup from his doctor.] The nourishment is palatable.

Abraham Lincoln
It doesn't really matter. [In response to his wife's admonition not to hold her hand at Ford's Theater, because people might see them. Lincoln's final utterance was laughter. During the performance of the play Our American Cousin, one of the actresses called for a shawl to protect her from the draft. An actor then ad-libbed a reply, "You are mistaken, Miss Mary, the draft has been stopped by order of the President." Lincoln was laughing at this line when he was shot.]

Ulysses Grant
Water.

Grover Cleveland
I have tried so hard to do right.

Benjamin Harrison
Are the doctors here? Doctor...my lungs.

William McKinley
Good-bye -- good-bye, all. We are all going.
It's God's way. His will be done, not ours.
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee.
We are all going, we are all going, we are all
going. Oh, dear.

Theodore Roosevelt
Please put out the light.

Warren Harding
That's good. Go on. Read some more. [To his wife, who was reading him flattering newspaper accounts.]

Franklin Roosevelt
I have a terrific headache. (FDR died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage.)

Dwight Eisenhower
I've always loved my wife, my children, and my grandchildren,
and I've always loved my country. I want to go. I'm
ready to go. God, take me.

Click Here To See All of The Presidents Last Words.

Cornabblism!

Hobberdehoy- A youth entering man hood.

Toxophily-Love of archery.

Faffle-To stutter or mumble.

Pismire-An ant.

Dsypygal-Having a hairy buttocks.

Valgus-Bowlegged or knock-kneed

Cornobbled-Hit with a fish

Jumentous-Having a strong animal shell

Wen-A stain, flaw, or scar

Saprostomous-Having bad breath

Calcographer-One who draws with chalk

Balbriggan-Fine cotton used mainly for underwear

Bodewash-Cow dung

Twiddlepoop-An effeminatelooking man

Atmatertera-A great grandfather’s Grandmothers sister

Liripoop- A silly creature

Anisognathous-Having the upper and lower teeth unlike

Leptorrhinian-Having a long narrow nose

Bridelope-When the new bride is “both Symbolically and physically swept off on Horse-back" to the husband's home

Whipjack- A beggar pretending to have been ship wrecked

Spodogenous- Pertaining to or due to the presence of waste matter

Mundungus- Garbage; Stinky tobacco

Chirogymnast-A finger exercise machine for pianists

Crapandina- A mineral such as a toadstone or bufonite said to have healing properities

Galligaskin-Baggy trousers

Shnazzy- Word used to describe something in a positive way

Confuzzlement- The state of being confuzzled

Fluffaluffagus- The fluffy elephant thing from sesame street

Nom- A word to represent food/eating of food can be used in everypart of speach

Fahibly Jibid-Non humane behavior

Great boogely moogley- an exclamation of excitement

Skew- to swerve

Hypothetibilityism

Hypothetibilityism Part I. A "What If?" Scenario.

14 Days Before Absolute Zero-

I woke up today like any other day, grabbed my school bag, brushed my teeth and hair like any other teenager. Called my girlfriend, nommed on some yummy food and left for school like most kids. Went to math class, Alex got sent to the principals office for the third time this week. It's kind of disappointing considering this is only the second week of school. Bell rang and met up with friends Ziggler and Big Foot like always on the way to band. That's when it happened.
One second we're talking about building rockets and planning an amazing party, and the next second we're huddled inside of some random junior science room watching the news. CNN was showing the president. Obama stood there looking into the camera with the sternest of looks. The teacher checked to see the other channels and they were all the same footage of the president, only at slightly different angles.

“Citizens of America.” Started The President. “Today I deliver the gloomiest of sad news. The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries also known as OPEC delivered devastating news upon my doorstep this morning. They had brought attention to the oil reserves in Saudi Arabia and Iraq. Showing oil rigs and oil wells dried up. They announced at 1:15 this morning in eastern daylight time that the oil reserves are empty and that there is no more oil at this moment in time.”

Everybody in the classroom was entranced at the television. It was like seeing everybody glued to the tv as if they were little kids. The president continued to speak.

“The Alaskan reserves told us this morning that they have enough oil to keep the country functional for seven more days. With the travel rate from the middle east to America, we will get our last import of oil in exactly fourteen days. Until then, I advise citizens of the United States of America and people of the world to conserve gasoline, plastics, and any other oil based product until a plan is created. Once a plan for this issue is created I'll personally come back on the air and deliver the message. Have a great rest of your day.”

I wonder what it's going to be like after this? Will there be any more cars? Electricity? Products? School continued today as if nothing happened. I got on my bike today like any normal day and started biking home. I went pass the neighborhood gas station and saw the price of gasoline. It was $100 to the gallon and believe it or not, there was a line overflowing into the highway.

Got home and the house was pitch black and humid. I always get home first before my parents and sisters but I was wondering why they left it so dark and hot today. I checked the thermal stat and saw that it was turned on. Checked the fuse box and everything looked good but when I went outside to see where the city gives us our electricity and gas, the dials had stopped. The air conditioner was turned off and we had no power.

I grabbed a radio and turned it to the broad cast station and I could hear the effect the presidential message had. Conserve batteries it said. It also mentioned how the power company's turned off the power to residential neighborhoods and how they planned to run it to businesses until they ran out of power. The only forms of communications they mentioned were radio frequencies and cellular phones while the batteries lasted.

I did my homework and am writing this entry. I'm going to try to journal what fascinating affect this shortage is going to create, but then again I had a journal which was for the BP oil spill but nothing big ever came out of that. We'll see.

The Heartbreaking tale of a Pigeon.

Prompt: Create an essay showing the connections between humans and animals using different genres:

A is for Alligator

By David Ries

This paper is being read out of free will. By law, one may not force this story upon another for the side effects include but are not limited to nausea, coughing, crying, vomit, self-harm, criticism, unexpected lost of job, divorce, being dumped, failing your next couple of test, a strange taste of celery developing in your mouth, In-explosive diarrhea, explosive diarrhea, heart failure, stroke, seizures and other medical problems that may not of been stated. Side effects stated previous are more likely to occur by reading this article without proper instruction. To refer to proper instruction read the “A is for Alligator” handbook. All names and characters developed in this story are fictional and are not intended for commercial advertising.

Dedicated to all of those who are willing to read.

Act I

The Origin of Pigeon

Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a time dimension different and yet similar to ours, was an empire. This empire had the land area of Europe, Africa, and Western Asia. The laws in “The Empire” were extremely strict. The dictator, Il Jon Kim, had previously just banned an anti-animals act declaring that all animals in the kingdom were to be killed on the spot. People everywhere were rebelling, but the

government had a strong law enforcement crew. Animals were dieing everywhere. The people were upset. People everywhere were concerned. They know that conflict strengthens bonds and life skills with people, but how would that happen with no animals?

One particular village, which was located along Egypt's eastern coast, wrote a letter to Il Jon Kim, talking about how much they wanted him to withdraw the act;

Dear Mr. Il Jon Kim;

My village, the village of “Good Fish”, think that you should withdraw your animal killing act because that will/is hurting the economy of not just your empire, but of villages within your empire.

Sincerely,

Good Fish Village

Just two days after the letter was sent, the villagers saw a shadow crossing through the valley heading towards the village. It was obvious that the village was going to be burned down in a matter of seconds once the army arrived.

One village boy was wise and left the village to warn his friends, the pigeon family. The pigeon family was located about 2 kilometers south of the village, which was hopefully enough time. What the

boy wasn't expecting was what he would find at the pigeon residence.

The boy was utterly devastated at the sight of the pigeon's home on fire.

The boy's name was Theodore, but the pigeon family had always called him Teddy or sometimes formally, Tedward. Teddy had known the pigeon family ever since he saved Mr. Pigeon from a wolf several years back, but now, that all was nothing. As he watched the nest specifically burn in the tree, he thought about the baby they had just brought into the world. Burning to death, hopeless, utterly hopeless.

What Teddy didn't know, was that the pigeon family were taken to an animal concentration camp by the coast a couple of kilometers down south. There the three pigeons walked chained together being lead to a prison cell with the tigers. 'Hopefully Mrs. Pigeon could sweet talk the tigers' thought Mr. Pigeon, but deep down inside he knew they were done for, but moments after thinking that thought, he saw a sign with the hours of prisoners;

Prisoners are to follow these hours correctly.

Failure to following the times stated below will result in immediate execution.

Wake-up 4:30

Break feast 4:30-5:00

Daily Chores 5:00-8:00

Special Chores/Tasks 8:00-1:30

Lunch 1:30-1:45

Special Chores/Tasks 1:45-6:00

Daily Chores 6:00-9:00

Dinner 9:00-9:30

Lights Out 9:30

Chores and Duties will be assigned by your platoon leader.

The sign sparked an idea in Mr. Pigeon's mind. During the 8-1:30 times, he could slip baby pigeon of into the ocean while they clean the beach when the guard isn't looking.

They got situated in the lions den and were surprised about the lions character. The lion was named Phillip. Phillip had attended a law school in Bangladesh a few years ago and had tried working in Africa to serve for the poor. He was calm and mellow for a lion, he would just lay back in the cave and play so music on his banjo and harmonica. Just by the first couple of days, the pigeons could tell he always had stories to tell. As they were working in the field, he'd always have a slave song for them to chant as they worked.

The Platoon had been doing field work the past couple of days, so the pigeon family had to hold through until some beach work was assigned. Day after day they would wish to wake up to get yelled at to report to the beach shed, but that didn't happen. That didn't happen for three weeks, and in those three weeks, the pigeons had started the construction of a tiny little capsule to put their baby in.

After three weeks of hard, arduous labor, the pigeon family's platoon was finally assigned beach clean-up. That's when in the middle of the day, the pigeon family brought baby pigeon to the coast in a small boat. They placed the baby in with straw and blankets to keep him warm and they said their last farewells. They set the baby off, and watched the boat sail off into the sunset, never to see their child born again. Then Mr. Pigeon saw Mrs. Pigeon drop to the ground. He then turned around and saw a man with a silencer on his pistol pointed right at him.

Act II

The Tale of Alligator

Mother:

Billy, what in tar-nation is that thing?

Billy:

Isn't it quite obvious mother?

Mother:

Yes, but where did you find it?

Billy:

Down in the marshlands mum, down by old man Jerry's

Mother:

Well, that's where you're gonna return it fella

Billy:

slams hand on counter

NO! I wanna keep the poor thang

Mother:

gives Billy that angry mother look that no boy wants to ever see in his lifetime

What was that Billy?

Billy took the thing and ran. He ran before his mama could yell “No dinner for you!”.

Billy went and hid in the barn in the rafters. He took his new prized possession with him and started talking to it like it were human.

Not long after Billy's dad came home to talk to his wife after a hard long day at work. Seconds later Billy could see through a small crack in the floorboards that the day was walking into the barn.

“Billy, You're mom said you had something to show me.” Yelled up the Papa.

“Don't hurt it, It's fragile! You have to promise you won't hurt it!” Yelled Billy back.

“I won't hurt it, just show me what it is!” Reasoned Papa.

Billy crawled down from the rafters and showed his pa the treasure. Pa looked at it and couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. For before him stood with his son, an albino alligator.

“Oh my...” said Pa. “You can keep it, as long as it stays outdoors, and don't hurt nobody, understand?”

“He won't hurt a fly, I'll feed him and love him and take care of him and train him and feed him some more!” exclaimed Billy. “It's not everyday you find an albino alligator in the Nile river.”

Pa looked at him, stroked his hand through his hair and said “No, it is not.”

Years went by and Billy trained his alligator to obey him, to walk, to halt, to sit, to sleep, to play dead and to not hurt people. He would take him everywhere he went, like Jake Blues with his harmonica, or a rich guy with his credit card.

One day, Billy came home from school and immediately went to visit the Alligator named Al, like he always does when he gets out of school. What he saw in the barn was unbearable. Al was on the ground with Billy's sister's arm in his mouth. His sister named Rosalia was laying there, probably unconscious or in shock he figured.

“Al, let go.” Billy commanded.

The alligator did what he was told and let go, but the problem was, the big teeth marks in Rosalia's arm. How was he ever going to break the news to ma, or even worse, Pa.

Then Billy heard the worse sound he's ever heard in his entire life, his Pa's car coming home from work early. Billy ran out front to greet him.

“Hey Pa. How was work? Why are you home early?” Greeted Billy.

“I came home early today because I lost my job. They replaced me with a machine.” replied Pa.

“Do we still have auto or health insurance? No more income?”

“No son, we have to live on our own till I can get a new job, which might be sometime. So, until then, don't get hurt, don't damage the car, and don't let your pet hurt anybody.” Replied Pa.

“Pa, I have a confession about that last part.” Billy took Pa and showed him the inside of the barn. Pa immediately crouched over Rosalia and checked for a pulse. Then he looked at the bite marks. Then he looked at Billy.

“You do realize what this means Billy, right?” Stuttered Pa.

“NO! YOU'RE NOT GONNA KILL AL! HE'S A GOOD PET! HE DIDN'T MEAN TO!” Yelled Billy. “Al, come here, heel!”

Billy ran off with the alligator trailing him closely behind. It wasn't an unusual sight anymore in the town to see Billy running with an albino alligator. Billy ran through town, and ran over the river, and through the woods, and past grandmothers house he did. Then he got to the river.

“Go Al! Be free!” He yelled to his alligator. “Go you stupid alligator! Be free! You're gonna get shot if you stay here!” By then Billy was crying, and Al barely budged. “Go! Be..for! Tear tear, tear he gets tear, tear you!”

He pushes the alligator into the river and throws a stick at it. Then Billy drops to the ground crying, 9 years of bonding with the alligator since he was five. Watching his only friend swim away, never to be seen again.

“Where's the dirty little thing?” Pa was here with a loaded rifle looking around while Billy was still bawling on the ground. “Cheer up boy, the Empire had finally decided to kill all animals, if I wasn't gonna kill him, they would.”

Billy bawled. And bawled. And bawled. And then he started hyperventilating. Then Pa shot a bird from 20 feet away, but Billy didn't know that and then passed out.

Act III

The Tale of Tedward

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Read all about it!

Government marches off to control the Americas today!

Victory is quickly approaching!

That was the headliner when Theodore woke up one day. All his friends called him Teddy or Tedward though. Teddy remembered what the government had done to him three years ago, they had started the no animal policy and he lost his friends, The Pigeons back then. That news article reminded him of the devastation it brought to him. Then Teddy pulled out an old photo album and started to browse the pictures of the Pigeons he had in there. He remembered how he had saved Mr. Pigeon from a pack of wolves as a child and still remembered watching that oak tree burn. Losing his closest friends he's ever had.

He was fifteen now and tomorrow was his sixteenth birthday. In the Good Fish Village, it was traditional for the boy to move out at the age of sixteen. Teddy had been preparing and had constructed a boat to sail the world in.

He went downstairs only to find the kitchen empty and a pie cooling on the window sill. Teddy's mom had always loved baking, and she loved baking the day before even more! For he could smell the other pies in the oven and the cookie dough stored in the fridge.

Teddy strolled right outside to the dock, where his ship was awaiting. It was a fine vessel that he had created with his own bare hands. He took pride in his creation. The ship was even named “The Pigeon”. His luggage was already loaded in the vessel and he was ready to set sail. After spending his whole life in the village of Good Fish, he wanted one last view, so he grabbed his camera and climbed up to the crow's nest. The view was phenomenal from thirty feet up.

He saw the ice cream parlor, and the movie theater. He could point out the police officers walking in and out of the station. The view brought back memories. Then he turned around and saw the ocean. The big old ocean, technically officials called it the Red Sea but to him it was like an ocean.

“That's all I'm going to be seeing the next couple of weeks.” He thought.

Then he heard his mom yell from the porch of the house. “Ted! Come here!”

He came down and went over to his mother.

“You going North or South first?” She asked confused.

“I was thinking South and going to Asia first, then cut through America and come home.”

“But there's war now in America, what are you going to do there?” she asked

“I don't know, but I'll figure it out mother.”

“I hope you do, because I don't want to lose my only son.”

After that they went inside and ate a few sandwiches. Tomorrow was his big day, and today they will even attend a special mass at church for his sixteenth birthday. At the mass, he is suppose to receive a sextant as special gift so he is able to steer his ship at night.

The next day Teddy woke up and dressed into his shiny, brand new sailor's suit. Ready to take on the world. He said he last good-byes to his friends and family, and told them he was heading to explore Asia and he was going to return with goods.

High noon came around faster than Teddy had expected. He looked at the shore and stepped onto the boat. He took one last look at the shore and his family. Then he untied the docking hitch and the ship began to move, he dropped the sails and waved the family good bye.

The feeling of the fresh sea air felt good against his face as he sailed off into the horizon.

Act IV

The Tale Of Pigeon

Name:Pigeon Grade:11 Offense: Setting grounds on fire to study extreme heat effects on agronomy. .

• - -Do not write below this line- - - - - - - -
  Teacher Signature: Professor Owlton Parent Signature: Mr. Fluckerwings

Pigeon remembered that day as if it were yesterday. The vivid details sprang to life as he unwrinkled the referral. How he wished Ernie Fluckerwings was still around. The day of his death devastated Pigeon. Ernie was the owl that had found a boat five miles south of the village with a baby in it. That baby was Pigeon so he took it in as one of his own. Pigeon had never met his real family and wished that he could've had at least a picture or a note found in the boat.

He grew up in the village of Owlen. Owlen was secret village in the Asian borders of the Empire. They had been hiding from the homicidal humans for quite sometime and weren't planning to be discovered anytime soon. It wasn't a small secret society either, the population was well 100,000 Owls and 1 Pigeon. Pigeon had never seen another pigeon before, so for flight he learned to fly like an owl and for hunting, he learned to hunt like an owl.

Pigeon didn't like having to hunt for his own food so he decided to go to a special school in the community to study agronomy in the region. Then he heard a knock on the door.

“Anybody home?” said a familiar voice.

“Wait, hold on a second.” Replied Pigeon, hiding the referral in a special drawer for the fear of it being stolen was upon him. Then he answered the door.

“Um, Mister.” Started a young owl. Pigeon had not recognized the owl but the voice did sound somewhat familiar, and that puzzled him.

“Yes?” Asked Pigeon in a friendly tone.

“We seem to of lost our Frisbee in your rice fields, can we go get it?” Asked the frightened owl.

“Come on in.” Greeted Pigeon. “Let me warm some tea, or would you prefer fresh milk?” Fresh milk was scarce among the village. There were only three cows in the entire village, and Pigeon was a proud owner of one. He gave milk away for free while the other monopoly tycoons charge ridiculous figures for a small sip. After some time the High School's Newspaper Club had decided to include Pigeon in their paper of cheapest deals of the year.

Fresh Milk

Owlyen 2oz. $34.99

Owlpan 4oz. $89.99

Pigeon 1 gallon Free

The young owls have heard of Pigeon from their parents. The parents of the village are always spreading stories of good deeds Pigeon has done for their people. The 3 young owls decided to go in and to grab a seat around the table.

“What's your names?” Asked Pigeon as they sat around the table.

They all replied respectfully; Owlyen Jr., Owlton, and Owljac.

Pigeon pulled out a newspaper and told the young boys to read it while he would go fetch the frisbee.

Pigeon returned with the frisbee but he had something else in his hands. In his hands were a bucket and the latest form of technology, a yo-yo.

“I have retrieved your frisbee.” Started Pigeon. “And I have also retrieved a yo-yo and a bucket. Three gifts for three young owls.”

“Thank you mister.” Said the children in unison.

“But there is an exception. I will predict on a piece of parchment which each of you will choose and you may only keep the toys if all three of you guess correctly.” Pigeon went to a back room to go write down his prediction.

The young boys stood there and gave each other a puzzled look. “How could he possibly predict what we're going to choose by just serving us milk?”

Pigeon came out with the toys. “Choose wisely” He said.

Owlyen Jr. immediately grabbed the yo-yo. Owlton grabbed the bucket and Owljac grabbed the frisbee. Pigeon pulled the paper out of his pocket and showed the boys what he wrote:

Owlyen Jr. Yo-Yo Owlton Bucket Owljac Frisbee

The young owls were amazed at the Pigeon's skills. 'How did he do it?' They all thought until Owlyen Jr. finally spoke up.

“How did you do that?” the young lad asked.

“It was too easy.” Replied Pigeon. “Owlyen Jr, the son of Owlyen the big business tycoon, of coarse he'd raise you thinking that the newer technology was the best and worth grabbing. Plus I observed how you immediately grabbed the toy section of the newspaper and you quickly drank the milk. Owlton I observed was hesitant this entire time and especially when I had offered him fresh milk to drink, he was the last to grab it. When the newspaper was given to you, I saw he grabbed the prices section to look for deals for a hard worker. Owljac, you came in, you had the nerve to knock on my door to get your frisbee and that's what you were going to get.”

The young owls were amazed and they left stupefied.

Later that week Pigeon heard a knock on his door and he answered it. He did not recognize the owl that stood before him but he answered him as a dear friend.

“Good afternoon Mr. Owlyen. What brings you here on such a busy business day?” Asked Pigeon.

“Have we met? How do you know who I am?” Asked Owlyen.

“No, we have not met, but I can tell by your suit and the recent visit of your son I predicted your arrival.” Pigeon merely replied.

“Yes, my son's recent visit. That is the purpose of this visit, is to thank you for opening my son's eyes. I myself farmed rice in my days of youth and I know what it is like to...be a lower class citizen. Then I had started my businesses and gained so much wealth that I regret for it has spoiled my son in so many ways. That is, until his visit into your house. He had never wanted to be known as rich boy who takes things for granted, but after hearing that you could guess how spoiled he was just by watching he's been scared for the better. At home he asks for no more than he needs and he spends his time more efficiently trying to live up to your level. He has even been asking for stories about you from his friend because your his new role model. Thank you Pigeon.” Stated Owlyen.

“I am not as stated a 'Lower Class Citizen'. I am just a citizen. A society shouldn't be divided by its peoples wealth but its beliefs.” Explained Pigeon. “I appreciate you taking time out of your busy work day to thank me but you have more important things you could be doing. So I thank you for taking time out of your day to see me. Would you like some nice fresh milk?”

Owlyen and Pigeon went inside to drink some nice warm tea. Owlyen told Pigeon to save the milk for those who couldn't afford any.

Act V

“What Does it Mean?”

-Double Rainbow Guy

After three months at sea, Tedward finally spotted mainland off in the distance. He consulted his map and concluded it was Asia. He was excited to finally reach mainland.

The next day he reached mainland and docked at the harbor. It was a nice little harbor he stayed at. They had a nice welcoming little greeter waiting for Teddy as he docked the boat and tied up the sails. It felt good for him to feel mainland for the first time in months. He noticed how the market on the other side of the docks was booming with business. For there was no fishing bans so therefor fish was a free for all.

Unfortunately, Teddy didn't have any money to stay a night at a hotel so he grabbed a tent from the boat and decided to make camp on the outskirts of town, by the sea.

The place he found was nice little campground and there was a cool, nifty little sign that said:

BEACH

NOT FOR OVERNIGHT USE

That made it more pleasurable to set up camp on the beach. He got a quick little fire going as he sat next to his tent. He had learned the guitar during the voyage and was playing some campfire songs to relax. Then after awhile as the coals died down he decided to go turn in. That night, he had the best sleep he has ever had.

The next morning he didn't even want to open his eyes. Teddy was afraid it would ruin the soothing sound of the tides. He's heard stories how birds would chirp at times like these but with no birds that made it hard. He rolled over, but instead of rolling over onto flat ground he ran into something. He opened his eyes and an alligator was laying next to him! Not just any alligator, an albino alligator.

“I ever tell you the tale of the magical beans?” said the alligator.

“HOLY COW! A talking alligator!” yelled Teddy!

“Yes, a talking alligator. Why are you surprised?”

“I've never seen an alligator before, and I've never even seen an albino animal before!”

“That I am, and you are...an albino human?” said the alligator.

“My name is Teddy, and I would assume you have a name?” asked Teddy.

“Yes, My name is Al.” stated the alligator.

Al and Teddy sat there for quite some time talking about their life stories and their difficulties. Al told Teddy how he's escaped death so many times from The Empire and how he was heading east towards freedom. Teddy told Al how he was heading east to explore and told Al about the pigeon family.

(ultra condensed version of what happened next)

They headed eastwards into the forest to look for a tribal chief that would show them the right way to the east without being caught. On the way a hunter followed them and they encountered once and barely got away.

“Do you hear that?” asked Al.

“No, what do you hear?” asked Teddy but before anything else was said an arrow from behind hit a tree right next to them. They turned around and saw the hunter standing there with bow and arrow in hand. Teddy and Al began to run! They ran like there was no tomorrow. Eventually the hunter ran out of arrows and pulled out a ninja sword. Teddy looked behind and saw the hunter was swiftly approaching.

Then out of nowhere a figure jumps out from behind a tree and knocks the hunter out with one kick. Al and Teddy were puzzled.

Pigeon was standing there with a samurai sword in hand on top of the hunter.

“He's out cold, Follow me.” Said Pigeon.

Pigeon took them back to the rice farm for a glass of milk and some tea. He explained the village and how Al would be safe here and would be seen as an equal. Al thought hard about this offer from Pigeon. He was grateful that Pigeon had saved them on such short notice but he didn't want to leave Teddy for the time they had spent together.

“Do you want a day to think about it?” asked Pigeon?

“Yes, and until then is it okay” started Al.

“Yes, You and Teddy may live with me for as long as it takes for you to make up your mind. I have recently had a successful harvest and I will be delivering it to the village tomorrow for if you two would like to come with.” Replied Pigeon in a heartbeat.

They shared tea and exchanged stories that would take too long to describe in such vivid detail. Pigeon explained how he never knew his parents, and then Teddy told them the story of his friends, The Pigeons but neither of the two could connect the dots. They talked about the Empire and how someday it will fall, and if that day will be in their lifetime. They talked about their lives and Pigeon gave them advice on what they should do once they reach their goals. That gave Al and Teddy more hope.

After awhile they ate rice for dinner and decided to call it a night for tomorrow would be a long day delivering rice to the market.

The next day came before they knew it. Al and Teddy woke up at sunrise thinking they could help load the rice into the wagon. So they put all their energy and effort into getting ready as quietly as they could without waking Pigeon, but to their disappointment Pigeon was sitting on the loaded wagon drinking a cup of warm tea. Teddy and Al were bitterly disappointed. So they set forth anyways. Pigeon had been prepared and packed bread for them for break feast.

Then they saw a horse running up from the road behind with loud clanking chains. Sure enough it was the hunter after the alligator and the newly found prize Pigeon. Pigeon immediately made the rice wagon go faster by yanking the horse chains. There was no competition, a single horse with a skinny rider or two horses with three riders plus a wagon full of rice.

BAM! Al turned around and saw a black stick in the hunter's hand with smoke coming out. BAM! Al saw some tiny little things fly out this time. CRACK! The wagon lost a wheel. At that second the wagon flipped sending it's riders and luggage into the woods. Al and Ted were trapped under bags of rice and they could see what was going on.

The hunter unmounted his horse in front of the wagon wreck and gave it a kick. Busted a hole right through the side. Then he pulled the black stick out of the horses saddle and started to look around. Al and Teddy were buried in rice so they were hidden well. Pigeon had gotten up and ran towards the horse wagon. The hunter pointed the stick at Pigeon and the BAM BAM BAM noise was going. Chunks of dirt were flying from the ground as Pigeon ran to the wagon. BAM BAM BAM chunks of wood were flying from the wagon. Then they saw Pigeon step out from behind the wagon with the Samurai sword.

BAM! Pigeon deflected the bullets. BAM! Again! BAM BAM BAM! Pigeon was spinning the sword to deflect the bullets. Each time trying to deflect them just right so they would bounce back and hit the hunter. The hunter was slowly stepping towards Pigeon though, making it harder for him to deflect the bullets. The bystanders were trapped underneath mounds of rice. They were using every last inch in their body to try to get out.

Then they saw the hunter drop the black boom stick and pull out a tinier one from his pocket. Pigeon jumped behind the wagon. He jumped out from the wagon this time with the sword over his head going for the hunter. The hunter shot Pigeon in the chest again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Five times before the sword came splintering down upon the hunters head.

Then there was silence. Absolute silence.

Three hours later a wondering owl found Al and Teddy beneath the rice and dug them out. Then the owl asked what had happened after examining two halves of a hunter and a swiss cheese styled Pigeon. Then after words the owl was devastated for he had heard stories of Pigeon. He offered to take Teddy and Al into town to meet the town people but they were shocked. They couldn't handle meeting new people after the lost of their new friend. So they decided to walk westwards back to Teddy's boat. They took Pigeon's body with them.

Once they reached the ship they tied Pigeon's body to the front bow of the ship. A pigeon they had barely knew, who sacrificed his life, who offered housing and care, who protected them had died tragically. It's a harsh world thought the two on their walk back to the harbor.

Unfortunately, on the way back to the harbor Al got a disease and was paralyzed from the neck down. Teddy hoisted Al on his back and tried carrying him back but Al died that next night alongside with Teddy at the bonfire. Teddy was crying, he had lost two good friends, they were going to have so much fun ahead and now they were just gone. He couldn't take it anymore. He loved the two so much, Pigeon even sacrificed himself for Teddy and Al.

Teddy pulled out the pistol he had stolen from the hunter and pointed it to his head.

“Is this it?” He thought. “Is there purpose anymore? They were my new family!” He began yelling into the dark woods! “WE HAD SO MUCH AHEAD OF US! AND NOW? IT'S ALL GONE!” He was he unlocked the safety mechanism on the gun. “IT'S NOT WORTH HAVING FRIENDS WHEN THEY ALL DIE ON YOU!”

“Is it?” said a mysterious voice. Teddy looked around.

“WHO IS THIS?!?!?!” Yelled Teddy. “I'M GONNA SHOOT IF YOU DON'T SHOW YOURSELF!”

Then he saw the voice. It was the ghost of Pigeon standing before him.

“Are you really going to do this?” Asked the ghost.

Teddy stood there. He did not reply.

“After I sacrificed my life so you could live. You're just going to kill yourself?” Questioned Pigeon. “You have a destiny to fulfill, for mine has been. For my destiny was to make yours possible and I have succeeded. No matter what happens, you have destiny to fulfill.”

Teddy put the pistol down on the ground and listened to the wise old Pigeon.

“For someday, you will be the one to bring down the Empire and let the freedom of animals be everywhere again. Then people everywhere will be able to learn life lessons and be able to bond with creatures of all sorts again, like you have experienced.”

“But all animals for surely die.” Said Teddy.

“Yes, all animals die, but the spirit in the human lives on. The lessons that the animal has taught lives on and will not be forgotten. So Teddy, live on, continue your quest and destiny and fate will guide you. Don't let the death of Al and I bring you down. Up here we are proud of what you will accomplish.” Said the Pigeon

“But how will I ever possibly take control of The Empire?” Asked Teddy in utter confusedness.

Then the ghost of Pigeon faded off into the distance while the body was still there. Teddy tied Pigeon's body to his boat as reminder that all animals and humans have a connection with love.

A Staggering Work of Multi-Genre Genius

Prompt: Write an essay containing at least 2 different genres with transitions to show knowledge in multi-genre writing.

A Staggering Work of Multi-Genre Genius

Written by David Ries

Act I

A Flash of Sorts.

Everybody has those days when there is a storm outside, so one may peer out of a window only to see lightning strike off in the distance and then sees a slight change in the scenery. That one change could potentially change a person or could leave them unharmed, but we all know as people that stories without conflict normally appear unappealing and dull so we'll go with the first option.
Today we find ourselves watching a young lad, about the age of 15 winters, just sitting on a green couch, just 2 days after the mysterious abduction of his younger sister, staring out of the front living room window. The shades often remind him of a home from the seventies with the fabric so boldly colored but have lost their strength in flavor over time. Now leaving them as faded materials before his eyes. He watches the streams of rain gushing from the sky! A more than heavy down-pour! Winds beyond belief! Hurricane sized winds! A down pour like no other! He watches the highly accelerated winds blow the streams of water near/next to the horizon! Boredom, overwhelming the adolescence's short, meaningless, attention span.
A flash of lightning strikes in the distance. The world out of the window went blind for a millisecond. For when the flash was done there was no rain, the young lad saw the sun shining down on the glistening green grass. He notices a double rainbow in the background and that reminds him of some experience, that he couldn't quite exactly recall. He grabs his phone hoping he doesn't get abducted like his younger sister and walks out the door to examine the scene. The air, cozy, with the smell of warm root beer before him. There, on the road before his house, he sees a black van, a Ford E350 if one were to get into details. A shaded figure was seen next at the mailbox. The shaded figure held a shovel in his hands and was digging at the ground around the mailbox. The shaded figure chuckles a deep, low laugh. The lad yells at the figure to stop sabotaging the mailbox but instead of stopping, the shadowed figure pulls out the mailbox of the residence out of the ground and throws it in the back of the van. The lad flips out his phone to call the cops, but then he glances at the mysterious figure sitting in the driver's seat. The figure is looking at him and he is looking at the figure.
Then a flash of lightning happens and the lad is swept from his feet into the storm. As the powerful winds throw the lad around and as he sees his last view of the world over the edge of a cliff near the house. He thinks to himself and wonders most thoughtfully. Trying to compose just one sentence to summarize what was going on in his mind, a sentence that appears almost impossible! He tried, so many things happened just now, almost like trying to summarize your life in one sentence. So instead he asked a question trying to summarize recent events. Why did my sister take the mailbox?
One may be asking about the obscure, awkward situation that was just brought forth and its relevance to the story may be concerning, but before you set this essay down thinking it is an “A Staggering Work of Pointless Irrelevance you should be aware of a movie, that had came out several months previous. The review that came out absolutely swept the nation.

Act II

A Reviewer Reviewing A Review-able Movie in Dire Need of Reviewing.

This movie will have the crowd walking out the theater a hour after the movie ends, crying, desperately trying to stop their tears but it is impossible. It's the movie you'll be talking about for weeks and weeks afterwards with everybody you know. So many things happening at once that you wonder how they could place a bunch of action, character development, conflict, theme, meaning, entertainment and everything else a critic wants and then some!
You think. How is it humanly possible to add so much detail, the entire life of a person, his friends, his family and his enemies into one movie? That task sounds almost as absurd as asking a person to summarize their life in one sentence. Hard, complicated, complex, relevant and yet irrelevant. Makes you wonder what genius composed such a masterpiece. How did the genius put it into words and then make sure the actors portray the scene most accurately?
Then the movie leaves an indirect message at the end of the final sequence too complex to phrase in this review. An indirect message telling the audience to compose a sentence, just a single sentence, telling their entire life story.
Many attempts have been made by celebrities, publicly reading their sentence to their fans. Nothing coming even near the outstanding work of the movie. Six months after the release of the movie, six months after the challenge go day, the movie director announces to the public his sentence.
Crowds quickly gathered in front of the directors mansion in the matter of hours that day. People gathered around bars and diners to see what the news crews were capturing at such a magnificent event. Words came from peoples mouths in the audience; “What does this mean?” “I wonder what words he'll use.” “I hope driving 50 miles was worth the effort.” “This is worth it!”.
The moment people waited for, finally had arrived. World cameras were rolling as the director walked onto his balcony with a single microphone. He looks at the audience and the audience looks at him. By this point, the scene was on every television station there is. World leaders watching, the entire world population standing by to hear his words of power and wisdom. Translators standing in-front of big foreign non-English speaking auditoriums around the world. The director opened his lips and spoke;
“I have succeeded in my life by the mere fact, that I have successfully replicated it by composing it into a movie accurately representing me, my friends, my family, and even my worse enemies.”
Thank you captain obvious, This is critic/reporter Sandburg and signing out.
After such an intriguing review, authors everywhere started noticing an increase of suicides over the mere fact that people felt useless in their lack of composing the almighty sentence. Something had to be done. The Authors Organization of the World (TAOOTW) decided a meeting was greatly needed. So a memo was composed for the conference.

Act III

Author's Conference Memo

Who: Authors Organization of the World
What: A need of discussion of the topic of “Movie Review Stated Previous”
When: Tomorrow at 10:00 A.M.
Where: United Nations Headquarters, New York City, New York
Why: The movie review titled “A Reviewer Reviewing A Review-able Movie in Dire Need of Reviewing.” has created conflict between people of all types. People are finding themselves useless in the fact that they are not able to compile such a difficult task of “Writing a single sentence that summarizes their entire life”. The use of the directors sentence should be composed into a lesson by teachers everywhere. These events have started to create depression in people and suicide is becoming more frequent.
Meeting Agenda includes topics relating to and/but not limited to;
Spreading the message of usefulness
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Teaching a faulty method to youth to prevent even further amounts of suicide
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Enabling people to write their own masterpiece
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Now a word from our sponsor: Coca-Cola
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Looking into the future
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What this could potentially cause
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responsibilities of the director
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Everybody's place in the world
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Now a word from our sponsor: Doritos
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The plans went good, and the meeting went according to plan. Out of the deal they had decided to create a devise to help people with their almighty sentence. So an advertisement had to be made or else no one will even hear of the product. Right away they hired Alec Baldwin to be the main speaker.

Act IV

The Word Wibiliofier

Speaker:

Have you ever tried to sum your whole life into one little sentence?

Audience:

Yes!

Speaker:

Do you ever wish a professional writer could come along and assist you in writing your story?

Audience:

YES!

Speaker:

Now that is all possible with the most excellent “WORD WIBILIOFIER”!

Audience:

the what?

Speaker:

THE WORD WIBILIOFIER!! Here's how it works, all you do is tie it to your leg when you wake up and walk around all day. It will automatically detect your heartbeat, voice patterns, the voice patterns of your friends, family, and even your worse enemies!

Audience:

WOW!

Speaker:

Authorized by Microsoft, Apple, and The United Nations, it is available for an amazing low rate with guaranteed results!

Audience:

Now how much will this small device be costing me?

Speaker:

It's a $200 value, but yours for only $199.99!

Call now, 1-800-Dont-Die

Shortly after the advertisement was released,  local poet decided to compose a poem.

Act V

A Poem For The Illiterates Soul

Many there is a day when you do not know what people are talking about.

Many there is a day when you feel impaired due to your lack of literacy.

Many there is a day where you see lives of your friends going away.

Many there is a day when you wonder if their wealth was a curse.

Many there is a day where you see yourself all alone.

Many there is a day when you feel empty to the bone.

Many there is a day when you feel like all that you could have has sailed away.

Many there is a day when you wish you could have learned.

Many there is a day when you wish to summarize who you are, but realize you can’t write?

Many there is a day when you wonder and think to yourself, how does an illiterate person read this poem?

Many there is a day, when you wonder, is what you hear something based off of actuality?

Many there is a day, where you wait for Friday to come.

Act VI

Today? Tomorrow?

Sara woke up. She wondered “How shall I spend my time on this Friday off from school?”. She ran downstairs and placed a bagel in the toaster to warm up. Then she turned the television onto the news station to watch the weather for her three day weekend away from school. Friday and Saturday were nice days but their was a slight precipitation chance on Sunday she wasn't too thrilled about. Her bagel came out of the toaster and she began to eat it. Sara loves to read, especially when she eats, but today was different. As a matter of fact, the past month has been different. It all started when she had got home from seeing a movie. The movie challenged her and her friends and family to write one sentence summarizing her entire life.
She had already filled up three average sized notebooks and now she was halfway through her fourth. Her fourth notebook had a green cover and consisted of 70 sheets. 3 Days previous her family had placed an order on some strange new device called the word wibiliofier that was said to give her the sentence she was awaiting for. It should be coming any day now and she was super excited.
BOOM BOOM, she heard some banging overhead. The banging was her older brother and mom fighting over the car keys for the afternoon. The mom always wins the fight, but the brother is always finding a new way to sneak a spare key and take off in the car before his mom can catch him.
Sara decides to phone up her friend Sidney and to meet up at the park to hangout and to think of sentences that could conclude the challenge.
The park was recently replaced about two years ago, the equipment was suppose to appear new too but the graffiti junkies came the second night and took charge of the playground the second day. They allow people to go there, but beware for if you have intentions of making a change, this isn't the place for you. Words were going past Sara's lips; Shnazzy, interesting, non-boring, exhilarating and thrilling!
Sidney arrives with her notebook and a stack of pencils and they set to work. As they were working Sara sees a man, dressed like a scientist with the long white trench coat, walking towards them. He grabs Sidney, and Sara made an effort to scream and holler for help. She throws near by sand into the guys face but it was thrown up wind, rendering Sara blind, therefore useless.
“What is the last thing you want to do?!” Yells the kidnapper!
“I want to receive my Wibliofier in the mail!”
Shortly after police arrived on the scene. They found nothing. No evidence, but news reporters were there to keep record of the missing child and to make a story. A few months later the child was found and made cover stories.

Closing Act VII

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!

It’s almost a year from the release of the movie that changed lives. As we think to ourselves about what events have occurred,  we still all try everyday to compose a stellar sentence so you can join the other few successors in paradise. Freedom from personal goals, money, fame, and so much more are goals for the average American but today we come to you with a different story.

Professor Albert J. Smith was finally brought into custody today after the three month man hunt for this crazed kidnapper. Smith was reported and charged with cases of murder, kidnapping, theft, inhumane torture and vandalism. The remains of one of his victims, a girl, was found recently in a local pond. Dead and was clothed with a dark robe. Also found on the scene was a Wibliofier which had hit the markets last year. Since then the Wibliofier has been labeled as false, for its intentions were to give people the ultimate sentence they were looking for. The cause of the death of the girl is still unknown but it is thought that she was beaten over the head with a mailbox over and over again.

It’s sad stories like these that make people wonder, that make people think about the environment around them. Anything can happen, so as you think to yourself today what words you could incorporate into your sentence. Think about the souls that have tried and have died because of this affect.

The film director came out, and summed up this last year just for fox news yesterday, into one sentence.

“The past year, is the year composed of the effects of a movie and the peoples ability/determination to incorporate them into their lives.”

After such words of wisdom, I challenge the general public to stop pondering how to create the sentence. For the last sentence that will be seen from me, about me will be this;

“My life is complete in the sense, I have made this sentence after a year of effort for it shows how I can dedicate myself for a single task.”